Co-Dependant girls of today

Most of you know the poster child of  the perfect Co-dependant girl of today........All I have to do is say a few words and she will come to your mind. "Umbrella" "Disturbia" and or "Chris Brown" 

Still nothing, OK how about. "Punched" "Kicked" or "Bitten"

I am talking about a talented and beautiful young lady named "Rhianna........ This young lady has had a great life so far. An amazing career filled with Platinum records and commercial adds with Covergirl and all the money a 21 year old needs to set her bank account for life. But, one thing remains, she seems to be a person that still doesn't have enough. A person that is still searching for something. What bugs me the most is that she has run into a person that has disrespected her as a young woman and now has opened the doors to a un-healthy co-dependant relationship. 

I have seen this time and time again with young ladies in our youth ministry. We have seen hundreds of girls come and go and have seen the statistics of co-dependency continue to rise. It has been a long time since I was in high school, but one thing I do remember is having to really work to get a girlfriend. Now, I know I am not the most attractive individual, but I have a cute side. No matter how much I had to work to get a girlfriend we have begun to see the times change. I was sitting and talking to one of my employees the other day about this very issue. I have noticed his cell phone just explode with text messages and phone calls all day long from dozens of girls wanting to see him again, or meet up at a party, or maybe have a little "Cuddle time." I sit there amazed at how many girls call him and how early they text him. They start at 4am and continue throughout the day. I asked him if it is easy for him to date girls. He went on to tell me that he doesn't even have to try or work. "THEY COME TO HIM" 

As I have reflected on what he told me I realized that we have some desperate times coming down the pike. Statistically speaking, 1 out of 3 girls under the age of 18 have been abused, such as, physical, emotional, and sexual. The main type of abuse with young ladies is physical. The sad part about this is, that once the physical happens, woman are 87% more likely to stay in their relationships. Now, we can speculate all we want at why those statistics are so high, but I will give you my personal opinion..........PARENTING!  Sorry to rat out the parents on this one, but, I to am a parent of young kids. Parents are not as involved as they used to be. With the economic crisis and trying to keep up with the Jones', parents are to busy trying to pay for all their toys and trips that they are over working themselves and not spending enough time with their children. One of the biggest things a girl needs is their relationship with their fathers. We have a lot of dead beat dads out there that do not care about what happens to their little girls. 

Out of the hundreds of girls we have seen come in and out of our ministry a large portion of them are starving for a father figure in their lives. The problem is that they find it through ANY male attention that they can find. If you thought the photos of Rhianna were bad, I could say that I have seen worse with some of our girls.  It breaks my heart when you have to call the Sheriff dept, or the Department of Human service to come and help the matter. Even after all those things some young ladies continue to run back to the culprit. 

I truly believe that girls become co-dependant because they honestly believe that it is as good as they are going to get......They have no idea that there are men out there that will cherish and care for them and that they would never let anything happen to them. 

My best friend has three daughters and I pray for him as their dad everyday that he remains invested in their lives. That he can show them love that they need and they will never have to search for a false sense of love.

Do not worry, I will write something in the future calling out the young man that are doing this, but for right now I want to speak to the ladies.

GIRLS: The good news is, you all want to feel love. That is a gift from God. The bad news is, not all guys out there want to show you the healthy version of it. If you have a relationship with your father that is good, please ask him to help keep you accountable on your choice and to protect you. I do not know about you, but having a father that is a little protective is less painful then being in a un-healthy relationship that will progressively get worse. To those of you ladies that have no support what so ever. Find a Pastor, or married couple that can help bring that covering over you as well. I do not know how many girls have asked me to check in on their boyfriends and see if they are legit. I have told several to run from their relationships and never look back.  I have also had the wonderful opportunity in performing the weddings on relationships that I knew the guy was a good guy....

I pray that the Lord will give you the strength to trust in him for the right direction, and that if you are lonely that the Lord will provide those relationships around you to protect you until its the right time......Guard yourself and do not allow yourself to fall into the co-dependant trap......And to Rhianna, I pray that you will no longer be a victim of co-dependency........Much love